Sat, 27 Apr 2024 16:54:58 EDT
Consider This Sentence
The following sentence appears in REUTERS on Apple News. “Russian missiles pounded power facilities in central and western Ukraine on Saturday, increasing pressure on the ailing energy system as the country faces a shortage of air defences despite a breakthrough in U.S. military aid.”
So many modifiers: …increasing pressure…as the country…despite a breakthrough…. My goodness.
The alliteration of pounded power is too much for me.
My rewrite: “On Saturday, Russia continued its attacks on Ukraine’s power infrastructure, launching 31 ballistic and cruise missiles at facilities in the central and western parts of the country. Recent congressional approval of fresh U.S. aid to Ukraine comes at a time when the country’s air defenses suffer from munitions shortages.”