Fri, 26 Apr 2024 19:42:28 EDT
Consider This Sentence
The following sentence appears in an article in The Athletic on Apple News. “William Nylander confidently pushed his way through the largest crowd of reporters that have been at a Toronto Maple Leafs practice this season to take the same place he’s been throughout the entire series against the Boston Bruins, despite not having played a minute: At the centre of attention.”
It works, but I want to rewrite it.
The comma prevents despite from modifing Boston Bruins instead of William Nylander, but the comma interrupts the flow of the sentence, and at first, it seems as if have been modifies crowd, which is singular. I would move the phrase to the front of the sentence if I used the phrase.
I will ditch the French/British spelling of center. I would make Toronto Maple Leafs practice possessive instead of treating it as a compound noun. The part of the sentence after the colon is not a complete clause. Why capitalize a preposition? Nylander and Mitch Marner have both been at the center of media attention for this series, so I will make Nylander a focus rather than the focus, but I’m not sure I like using focus in a metaphor.
My rewrite: “William Nylander’s absence from the first-round playoff series against the Boston Bruins has made him a focus of attention for the Toronto sport media. After confidently pushing his way through the largest crowd of reporters to attend a Toronto Maple Leafs’ practice this season, Nylander declared that the nature of his illness was a personal matter and that he wouldn’t comment on it.”
The plural of sport is sport, and the plural functions as singular. Singular: It’s his favorite sport. Plural: He loves sport. Sports is a present tense verb: He sports a red tie. He sports among the dolphins. The Great and Terrible Captain Cucamunga will never give-in to the North American usage of sports as a plural noun.